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User talk:The Hessian
A Problem with your recent article(s) Your recent articles breach Wikia Quality Policy. Please read the rules before posting articles. A further breach of wikia policy will result in a suspension. Yours, Imposter101 (talk) 13:44, January 26, 2017 (UTC) RE:Article issues Your articles all have broken property tags. A number also may suffer from NCF issues. Please read the Wikia Quality policy rules. Furthermore, while not part of wikia quality policy, the articles are also exceptionally shallow in terms of content - and it's advisable that some originality exists. --Imposter101 (talk) 15:03, February 4, 2017 (UTC) Temporary Block You have been temporarily blocked for a day for repeated violations of the Wikia Quality policy. Yours, --Imposter101 (talk) 19:03, February 4, 2017 (UTC) Think you can combine Regimental Structure/Organization into one category on your pages you can cut stuff like "appearance" describe them with the entries in equipment. Think you can include traditions under notable regiments As to the ranks I meant" "literal translations from German" "Field Marshal" instead of "Generalfeldmarschall" etc. not words like "Festungsoberwekmeister" BrowncoatMando (talk) 06:09, February 6, 2017 (UTC) The Adeptus Mechanicus has the monopoly on technology in the Imperium. Custom weapons are fine, but they must be built by the Mechanicum and respect the machine spirit. Additionally they must be at a tech level comparable to the rest of the Imperium. No super advanced shit, and please, don't use the excuse that they discovered a super cool STC which gave them advanced tech — NecrusIV [[User_Talk:NecrusIV|(Talk)]] 08:30, February 7, 2017 (UTC) Over-Saturation, Originality, and Images So first off - I think you need to tone down the German in your articles. You seem to have used an unnecessarily large amount of German language, German symbols (e.g. shamelessly using the Iron Cross for the Wehttam Defense Forces), and soldiers that are apparently German (since I can't say for sure). *The extreme use of German is unecessary at best especially since it makes your articles annoying to read and is not entirely fitting with the setting. Even if I went to the Death Korps of Krieg page - a page dedicated to regiments known to have German influences - I would not find anywhere near the same level of German you've tried to introduce into your pages. *Another example of your excessively unnecessary use of German is on you Wehttam Sturmshutz page under the heading "Regimental Insignia" (which is the wrong heading to use anyway since an insignia is a symbol but you've listed ranks). I feel confident in saying that most people are not going to be interested in reading that table because it adds nothing to the article appart from content for the sake of content. *Then there's the images. Shamelessly using the Iron Cross is not original, and is downright unimaginative and boring. Then there's the completely irrelevant images such as your use of the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin on your Wehttam page. What was the point of including that? It adds absolutely nothing to the article and only reinforces how uninspired the article is. *The images of actual people don't actually add anything to your articles and, at least to me, seems like a vein attempt to add substance to your articles when it doesn't actually add anything. Then there's the little inconsistencies on your pages that are OK if you ask me: *One example of an inconsistency is that you've said Wehttam is a "Civilized Fortress World". What is that? Because in the 40K Setting, both Civilised Worlds and Fortress Worlds are clearly defined. Is a "Civilized Fortress World" supposed to be a half-way point between the two? *A lot of what I read that wasn't drowning in unnecessary German seems to read more as over-inflated propoganda. The following was not only unenjoyable to read but exemplifies the aforementioned point: **"The Famed fortress world has been invaded on several occasions by the ruinous powers whom sought to end this threat to their rule. With the most famous invasions being the assaults during the Seventh and thirteenth Black Crusades though the famed Wehttam Defense Forces stood the test of battle and crushed these naïve assaults with righteous fire." My suggestion to you is to re-think all of your articles and try to come up with something that is a lot less "Plagerised German" and more original. Best of luck with your future editing. If you need any help, I'd be willing to offer some starting points if you find yourself stuck. IllumiNini (talk) 06:45, February 8, 2017 (UTC) re:Grammatical errors A number of errors still remain throughout the article, mainly typos. Yours, --Imposter101 (talk) 08:13, February 22, 2017 (UTC) I'm Disappointed.... I've mentioned to you before that you have over-saturated your articles with German-related imagery and language, and over a month later (and many edits made by you that I've seen noted in the Wiki's Recent Activity Log) there is still this over-saturation of German-related imagery and language. Not gonna lie, buddy: I'm totally turned off by it. I'll open up one of your articles after you've made an edit hoping that all the 'Plagerised' images are gone and that there's something ineteresting to read other than tables about ranks, one-sentence-summaries, and descriptions of effectively plagerised images, but I'm always disappointed on all counts. I honestly do not care if your articles just barely meet the 3 paragraph minimum and essentially say "This is my regiment(s). This is their history. This is the set of their notable campaigns and a little bit about each campaign." That would still be more interesting than the plagerised German you still have in your articles. If you would like help in creating and adding to your articles, I'd be more than willing to at least give you a starting point. Best of Luck, IllumiNini (talk) 13:48, March 15, 2017 (UTC) Any Help appreciated Well since you are willing to help and give advice any ideas you want to shout out at me I'd be willing to listen to. Just send a list on my talk page about what you think would improve my articles and I'll go over it. The Hessian (talk) 01:26, March 16, 2017 (UTC) My Response So I'm going to lay this down as a two-fold set of points, combining a few general comments about your articles as a whole based on the first article I review with reviewing of a specific article. I'm going to one article at a time because otherwise I'd be here writting for hours on end. So let's start with the article I picked to be first on the chopping block: Wehttam Fallshirmjagers. *The name. Nobody is going to think that is a unique name. Nobody is going to think you were being original. I mean Fallshirmjagers is literally the German word for Paratroopers. If you were going to call them paratroopers, at least call them the English - Wehttam Paratroopers; or at least bastardise some Latin to be more consistent with the setting. That way it doesn't look like you blatently plagerised some German. *''The imagery.'' **''''This is a big one that can be applied across your articles. For this article in particular, you literally plagerised the iconography for the German paratroopers for this article. I can sort of understand using the German for this, but blatently using the unadulterated German word for Paratroopers along with plagerising their iconography is downright rude, unorignal, and nothing but a disappointment when I read it. From my perspective, you are literally and shamelessly copying the German paratroopers into 40K and claiming it to be your own fanon creation. Just wow... I have no words... ***This can be applied to all of you articles. The Iron Cross for the Wehttam Defense Forces is anothe prime example. **Honestly: The images that are added to articles on this Fanon Wiki are designed to add to the articles they are attached to. In essence, they are there to complement the article(s) they are used in. The images you've used are nothing but a detriment to your articles. Your articles are definitely better without any of the images you've used. ***In other words: Remove all the images you have used. They are a detriment to all of your articles and nothing else. *Let's look at the infor you provide in the information box: **The strength of each regiment is oddly specific. The nature of Imperial Guard Regiments is that there is no uniform size. I've read stories and lore where the size of a regiment can be as low as 1,000 soldiers at full strength to somewhere in the tens of thousands. 22,000 per reigment is very very specific, not to mention it's not a number that would be consistently maintained for over 10,000 years. If you're in love with the 22,000 number, call it an average. **The Nickname: For a single regiment or a select few regiments, the fact that they have a nickname makes sense, but for an entire set of regiments that probaly contains thousands of regiments (both active and inactive for whatever reason)? That doesn't sound right to me at all. ***Leave nicknames to more selective groups of regiments. ***The same sort of theory applies to the motto and the coomanders. *Let's look at the structure of everything else: **The Formation and Recruitment Sections I have no problem with, but probably could be expanded upon. Not so much a criticism as an I'm looking forward to seeing what you can do with this. sort of deal. **The History and Notable Campaigns sections are definitely lacking and I honestly expecting a bit more substance in them by this point, but like the aforementioned sections, it is more of an I'm looking forward to seeing what you can do with this. sort of deal. **Now onto the Regimental Combat Doctrine: ***The whole Ten Commandments thing is not only cliched as hell but something I've seen before in other articles. Let me tell you - it is totally unoriginal and doesn't fit. ****If I wanted Ten Commandments, I'd become religious, convert to Christianity, and use their Tern Commandments. I don't need to come to a 40K Fanon Wiki to read ten commandments so generic it hurst. ****Get rid of these commandments. Instead, come up with a combat doctrine that is unique to these regiments. Maybe their doctrine originated during the Great Crusade and evovled over the ten millennia since the Horus Heresy? As for the rest: *Less German plagerism, more originality, and more details. I don't want to see headings with nothing to fill their section or lists of notable anything without details tellin me why they're notable. If you want to list - for example - Notable Personnel - make the list, add some text indicated that the addition of details are coming soon, and then commit to it. *As for being ...the premiere Airborne Assault troops of the Imperial Guard...' : **Nothing you write as part of Fanon should be anywhere close to being the best. That's way, waaaay too Mary Sue / Marty Stue. Try to say that they are skill airborne soldiers without implying that they are among the best (if not the best). And here is the most important point: : '''Make the history interesting! This is what I want to know above all other things about you regiment. ''Why? Because this is the biggest part of who they are and why they're special. Plagerism of German Language and Shameless Use of Images of German Soldiers and their Iconography does NOT make your regiments special. I want to read your creative writting, not plagerised articles. : This applies to all of your other articles, as well. My suggestion is to capitalise on why these ariborne regiments were required in the first place. A simple lack of an airborne element is not enough. If having an airborne element serves no need, why were they created in the first place? Think about exactly why these regiments were created and I beleiev that in these details you will not only find the truly interesting nature of these regiments, but also allow yourself to write about these regiments in a way that will make many of the other Wiki users (including myself) intersted. Best of luck, IllumiNini (talk) 11:08, March 16, 2017 (UTC) RE: The Primer There is only one known 'variant' of the Primer, which was distributed to forces in the Damocles Gulf Crusade. However, if your variant is just going to be another Wehraboo-tier publication, or is going to be an attempt to bring 'sensibility' to 40k, I would advise against it. 40k fanon has had a problem with this sort of thing before where people produce 'tactica' or documents that come off as a view from outside the 40k universe. --Imposter101 (talk) 08:47, May 24, 2017 (UTC)